Obligation or Love? Part 1

Has there even been an event that you were "supposed" to go to but didn't want to. I mean like a church or club event and you were "supposed" to volunteer. And they gave you the guilt trip. "Please come anyways" makes it sound like you're the laziest person on earth and are always making excuses. I wanted to go to this event though (sort of). The problem was that someone pretty much forced me not to. I truly did want to go, but I believe that I was going out of obligation.

The consequences of doing activities out of obligation are huge. If we keep doing things out of obligation, we become apathetic. We lose relationships. We become cynical. The whole "go to church on Sunday" statement sounds like an obligation all on its own. (I'm NOT saying go to church whenever you want to. But when you go to church, you should have a sense of joy and gratefulness to fellowship instead of feeling like you have to be there). Most of all, obligation isn't love.

When someone does something out of love, it transforms the entire experience. It brings hope, joy, and celebration while doing the activity, making it worthwhile. And if you're trying to evangelize a community, this makes it even better and more effective because you're bringing people to Jesus out of love, not just because the Bible said to go and make disciples of all nations. I realize that I'm speaking in very vague terms here, but I want to try to express what it means to do something out of obligation, and to do something out of love.

All too often, I have done several things out of obligation. The requests for me to go and do something because I'm a "nice person" happen all too often. I remember this past week when I was hanging out with friends I felt like it was a crime and I haven't been out with my friends in months before then. I feel terrible when I can't go to youth group events, as if I don't have enough time for God and I seriously need to change my schedule. Why?-because somehow I've learned that we are all obligated to go to every single youth group event and if we don't, then something is wrong with our spiritual life. Now, yes, in some cases there are those teenagers who need to spend their time more wisely and perhaps youth group is a way to keep them grounded and out of trouble. But all too often I wonder if these events help to further the gospel. If they truly reach out to others. And if they are, is it out of the fact that your youth group pastor told you to go, or did you want to go? Were you just sitting down in the background when you heard of the event, or were you on the planning committee?

I remember back in the fall and spring when for a singing group, we performed at nursing homes and with adolescents with special needs. It was so much fun! And it wasn't out of obligation. I felt like I was helping to serve the Kingdom. Yes, while many people would think that it's just a performance, it was special. It was special because I believe that I was using love rather than obligation to bring people joy and to learn more about their lives. And that's what love truly is.

To Listen to God or to Listen to Man?

Sorry I've been gone awhile. If anyone's actually been reading this. Well, considering that it's the summer, I guess I'll post more-I promise :)

I'm in a conflict now that has started for everyone since they have been in preschool. It's called the "What do people think of me" complex. And it has caused everyone at least at one point to miss out on something that they were supposed to do. Less than a week ago, I was going to go to my sister's recognition ceremony, but didn't go out of fear that past teachers would think I'm weird because I'm older and the only older sibling there. See, where I live, there isn't a lot of 'family' gatherings for awards due to schoolwork, other sports, or just plain sibling apathy. So I didn't go because I was afraid of what man would think of me. Boy was I wrong and feel terrible. In fact, even one of my friends showed up. What a fool am I!

Fast forward to today. There's supposed to be swim practice today. But, the inside of my hips are sore from doing A TON of breaststroke and I am VERY out of shape. And a girl who isn't so nice is lifeguarding. Should I let her get in the way of my swimming? Or should I not care what she thinks and go? This is the most annoying dilemma. I can also make the excuse of how much pain I'm in. But that's just an excuse anyway. My mother told me to do whatever I want. I'm not even in the mood to go to practice. And I'm not letting her define me. I see her all the time. But aren't we supposed to not care what man thinks but care what God thinks? Well, it's surely much easier said than done. And there are times when it is right to avoid people not necessarily because of what man may think, but because man is mean. And isn't she mean? I really don't plan on having my self-image wiped out on her account. But she's seen me swim before several times. And before she became fast, she was really slow. And before she was mean, she was a loser at her school. So shall I go? Part of this has to do with "forcing." ("Forcing" will be for another blog post). "Forcing" is the crazy stuff I do when I force myself to do things that I don't want to do. For example, tomorrow I'm doing something that I don't want to do. I'm doing it because I heard it on Wednesday at youth group and thought it would be bad if I don't go. (Which brings us to yet another blog post on how we serve the world- are we doing it to serve God and better His Kingdom, or are we doing it because someone "said so"?) Well, I'll see if in the next hour and fifteen minutes I'll go. Nah-I'm helping my mom with dinner. And this isn't a cop-out. She told me to :)

But nevertheless, after the experience this past week, I will never care so much about what man thinks that I will not do something in fear of them. Because at the end of the day, unless you're being a sinner, being a jerkoff, being lazy, or being a bad example of character it doesn't matter what man thinks. It only matters what God thinks.