The Restored Hope

While doing my homework tonight, I had an odd brief moment of nostalgia. Nostalgia about how things used to be better. I read an email from one of my friends that talked about church about a year ago. She gave me a recap from church and talked about how she had a conversation with Todd and Donna. Then I remembered. A year ago, Todd was walking and laughing. And even though he still had cancer, I don’t know how to explain it but things seemed brighter. He and Donna were able to go to church, and there seemed to be happiness everywhere. I remember going to bring dinner to their house last May. Todd said he helped mount a cloth onto an apparatus that made a small tent in their backyard for dinner. It’s only now that I think “He could do that back then?” He said he went to Marcs that day. And he helped get chairs out. He helped his wife, Donna who was still recovering from her surgery. I don’t know how to explain this, but the fact that a year ago he could do all of these things brings tears to my eyes. What happened? I don’t want to go to any hopeless conclusions here. I just feel upset that a year ago he could walk and now he’s paralyzed.

            But then again when I really thought about it, was a year ago really better? Todd still had cancer and he still does now. Last year, the cancer was coming back with a vengeance. Donna had surgery and had complications. So, I now wonder, how exactly was last year better? Yes, Todd was walking, but is that the only thing? It can’t be.

            In the Christian life, it’s hard…extremely hard, to have hope in the midst of great difficulty. Yes, you’re supposed to, but you see, Todd has been stuck in his bed for almost 5 months now. He’s lived longer than Hospice expected, but sometimes, I have a terribly sick thought. What if Jesus just took him now so he could walk again? Sick, yes. I don’t want anyone dead. I want him to be able to walk. Yes, God could heal Todd right now, it’s just that I’m having a hard time believing that at this point. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough faith. However, in the midst of deep sorrow and suffering, there is one thing that will always be true:

            All shall be well. Yes, that really sounds like a band-aid answer, but it’s working for me right now. Part of me is afraid to hope. I’m afraid of escapism, but I must agree right now with “all shall be well”. I have to hold onto that hope, or else I’ll end up in despair. I have to hope that the Word of God will never fail. I need to remember that in the End, Jesus will restore all things. That Jesus is our Light in the Darkness of sin, despair, pride, anger, sickness, disease, and stupid cancer. Freaking stupid cancer.

            “All shall be well” comes from an Andrew Peterson song that I hope you’d listen to at some point. It’s part of an album that Peterson wrote about death. Can you believe an artist wrote an entire album about dying? Well, I’m glad he did because I love it. It’s really helped me to process death and what that means in the Christian life. “Word of God will never fail. All manner of things shall be well.” What I like about this is that this does not imply a mamby pamby band-aid answer, but affirms the true Hope. Yes, suffering is terrible. Yes, storms in life are hard. They’re unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. But there’s still Hope. There’s still Jesus. And as Holy and Strong as He is, He is redeeming us everyday. He’s giving us strength every day to make it through. He’s providing us with joy every day. And He’s giving us unmatchable mercy and grace every day. This is why all shall be well. Because Jesus is transforming us and changing us. One day we won’t be seeing any suffering. We will be in the New Earth, building up God’s kingdom in our new bodies, free from sin, death, and disease. But until then, while we wait on this fallen, broken, dirty earth, let’s have hope, the hope that Jesus died for us is our Sustainer through this hard thing called life.